Pants, pants, PANTS!

How I started the 4th of July…

How I finished the 4th of July…

Stupid stomach flu.

Today began MUCH nicer than yesterday.

Stupid flat tire!

This weekend I’ll be sweating my ass off at BFF Fest, 4th of July style. Cross your fingers I’ll be lucky at BINGO!

Apples are yummy.
The best stories begin with, “So I was home-schooled….”
There is such a thing as “UNO School”.
True to form, I had a total potty mouth.
Case in point: “The curtains BEHIND the curtains.”
Drank REAL beer from the liquor store.
So much better than low alcohol percentage crap!
The way I eat Go-GURT® grosses Suzanne out.
Nish told me I had the cleanest feet of anyone he’s ever seen camping.
The next day he said the same thing about my hands.
Baby wipes are a camping essential.
I should have made more Rice Krispies Treats®.
Suzanne says my honey bucket is safe with her.
I didn’t wear a watch or have my phone all weekend.
Hobo dinner rules.
Gail sleeps A LOT.
Wendy let me grab her boobs.
OK, I may have just grabbed her boobs.
Jon’s dog, Cousin, is fucking adorable.
I think Cousin might be psychic.
He attacked the $1 flamingo windsock camp mascot I bought when everyone was discussing how we should destroy it.

Too beat to give a proper breakdown of the camping trip, but I’d do the weekend all the same. I had a freaking fabulous time and loved getting to know everyone better.

Luckily this is a short week and I only have four days till the next weekend. Yay!

Tonight I…

• I watched Miss Potter
• Had a good cry
• Did laundry
• Started packing for camping tomorrow (YAY!)
• Ate a popsicle
• Took some really important quizzes

This will surely motivate me to maintain my gym schedule. Don’t want to attract the if-it’s-human-meat-it’s-good-to-eat crowd.

OnePlusYou Quizzes and Widgets

I just received this in an email from my GRANDMA.

I was sorry to hear that your romance did not work out after all but somehow I think you need this time to get yourself settled. So glad that Utah didn’t turn out so bad after all. LOL

LOL your romance didn’t work out? Are you fucking kidding me? LOL?!!!

You can’t buy booze at grocery stores in Utah but you can buy enough fireworks to blow your head off if it’s near the 4th of July or Pioneer Day.

I said goodbye to my sister and niece tonight. They’re going away for the next thirteen days and I am wicked sad.

My sister’s lovely tan, my lovely paste; I am obviously the milk man’s baby.

I’ll miss the munchkin trying to do back flips off my chest. It’s amazing how quick they grow and change. She’ll surely be doing all sorts of grown up stuff during their two week absence. Today she said “bye bye” rather than “UHHH-byyyye!” I miss her little baby buh-bye. When I said UHH bye, she chanted BYE BYE BYE BYE over and over, so damn proud of her new big girl words.

When I decided to move to Utah I knew they would be a big part of my life. Turns out they’re my world. If they were to move, I seriously might die. I wish they’d hurry up with their vacation already.

“I wish you would go to church for this one reason: so you’d be as tired as I am right now.”

“Thanks Dad, but that’s why I take sleeping pills.”

This week I have been loving…

D.I.! Though really, I love D.I. every week. What’s not to love when you find treasures like this…

$3 baby doll stroller for my niece, who walked in circles around the kitchen island for FOUR HOURS! Screaming, “Ah byyye!” Every time she’d pass, flirt with her reflection in the sliding glass door, then start it all again. As my brother-in-law called it: a solid purchase.

$2 Sexual Fitness stretching for couples book. I picked this up for my friend, who will be giving it to his brother, that is saving his flower. I think it’s hilarious. Hopefully it won’t take too much therapy to get over it…

The only thing I can say about this homemade, church related puzzle (besides let you know that I didn’t buy it) is that these little fuckers added to my personal therapeutic history. Thanks J.S.

Can you say seventy-five cent BRAND NEW Hello Kitty tote? Jack Jack can, I had to pry it away from him after this modeling session so he wouldn’t destroy it before my honorary niece opens it on her birthday.

Painting the niece’s fingernails and toes with hot pink. She made JAZZ HANDS! the rest of the evening.

Rock hard nectarines. I like them crunchy like apples and they’re bangin’ this week.

True happiness is a cold room on a hot summer day. One thermostat for a two story house, set at seventy-nine degrees, makes for this downstairs. Say hello to heaven.

Still can’t get enough of The Ditty Bops. This week’s obsession is Bye Bye Love.

What are you loving this week?